Hey Batter!

So my daughter had her second softball game yesterday. She got two hits and scored a run, and her team won big. I am already in midseason form, at least as far as shouted advice goes:

“Hit it like it was your brother’s head!”

“Club it… like a baby seal!”

I also made my wife mad by yelling at the umpire, who called a force at third when there was no runner on first. After he reversed the call I gloated, up until my wife reminded me that this was the only argument I was allowed to win.