Begun, The Revolution Has

03.26.08 | 5 Comments

A follow-up to my recent global warming post: apparently, an army of robots deployed throughout the world’s oceans have begun reporting back, and they’re saying that the oceans aren’t heating up as expected.

Sure. That’s what they’re saying. Here’s what I think is happening: the machines are trying to kill us. Up on the land they’re working tirelessly to spew more carbon into the atmosphere, while their undersea agents lie without remorse, dooming the human race to extinction.

You want more evidence? A friend of mine woke up the other night to find that his heater and air conditioner were running at the same time. At first I thought they must be fighting (“Too hot? I’ll show you too hot!”) but then I realized that they were working together to eliminate us.

Or it could be that, right now, scientists are better at gathering this data than explaining it. That’s one reason I’ve been skeptical of global warming. As Clarke’s Fourth (or Lesser) Law explains, “For every expert there is an equal and oppsite expert.” So much of the climate change hype has amounted to, “Trust us! We’re scientists!”, but these appeals to authority haven’t convinced me.

I’d rather believe our machines are out to get us. Now I’d better publish this before my computer turns against afsd09yhanomn;asdfaf …..


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