Patch Work – Updated

10.24.05 | 3 Comments

I took my daughter to the pumpkin patch this weekend. She’s just turned six, and she already had a pumpkin, but she wanted a little one she could keep in her room and more or less treat like a doll. She even told me she had to “feed” it, which consisted it setting it in a pan full of water, which it apparently “drank”.

She carried it around with her all day, which turned out to be a bad thing, because while she got the beauty gene from her mother, she got the clumsy gene from me, so she ended up dropping her baby on its head, resulting in a rather large cut.

She was very upset of course, but we thought we had fixed Punky’s head and her nerves with the application of a bandaid. Later, though, she came out of her room while I was ironing my shirts and said that her pumpkin had “died” and that she wanted a new one.

“Can’t you just pretend it’s alive?” I asked.

“No, I want one that’s really alive.” And out came the Death Pout, the Lower Lip Of Darkness, the Scowl Of Despair.

“But honey,” I said, pressing the Guilt Gun to my own head, “they’re dead as soon as they are cut off the vine.”


Cowboys Update: They suck. Offense: two trips inside the 20 in the second half, resulting in 3 big points. Plus the big pass play that led to the winning field goal – for the Seahawks. Defense: impenetrable all day, until the last two minutes. Just like last week. Despite his big numbers, I still think that Drew Bledsoe is too inconsistent and will be riding pine by week 17.

Update: No Way, Jose. The Cowboys have now released alleged kicker Jose Cortez, who not only missed a bunch of field goals including a chippie that probably would have won yesterday’s game, but stared down his holder each time (check the pic with this article), which caused a confrontation with guard Larry Allen earlier this year. All year long Cortez kicked like his bags were already packed and in his car. Now he’ll drive off into sunset, leaving nothing behind but fond memories.


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